"And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you didn't know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. So shall you keep the commandments of the Lord by walking in His ways and fearing Him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron and out of whose hills you can dig copper. And you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land He has given you.
Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His rules and His statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who gave you water out of the flinty rock, who led you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand has gotten me this wealth.' You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth..."
Deuteronomy 9: 2-18
I do that too- skip over whatever long quote is italicized and get to the real stuff. But it's actually way more important that you read that than whatever stuff I'm about to ramble on about. Please, I encourage you to read all of that passage even though it's a bit lengthy.
I am about to begin my senior year of college. What? I have no idea where I will be living or what I will be doing ten months from now. And as much as that scares me, I'm realizing more and more that there never has been and never will be a time in my life that I will know exactly what I'll be doing ten months in the future. I am likely to get wrapped up in my plan and forget who is running the show but there is only One who knows what tomorrow will hold.
There is a glaring problem with me being anxious about this final year. I am forgetting who has led me through my wilderness so far. I forget who lifted my burdened heart, who led me out of Egypt, out of slavery. And I forget that through that wilderness He kept my thirst quenched, my back clothed, my stomach full. And when I forget that, why wouldn't I be hesitant to begin this new part of my life? When I forget Him, I become my own guide and that is definitely something to worry about.
I am so certain of one thing- God is good and He will lead me if I let Him. Growing up, I always thought "I just have to trust God and He will work everything out like I want. He won't let anything bad happen." Lol. I heard a sermon recently about the majesty of Jesus and the preacher said something along these lines:
"If we truly believe that Jesus is King of the universe- that He is an all powerful, all knowing, all good Christ, who became a man so that He could die a shameful death on a cross to save me- I better not be asking that Christ to come into my life as a secretary. I better not be thinking 'How can Jesus help me fulfill my dreams?'"
When I want Jesus to be my secretary, and things start going the wrong way, my faith falls apart. When I want Jesus to be my King, my Friend, my Brother, and things start going the wrong way, my faith is steadfast. When I have no trust that God will "humble me and test me to do me good in the end", I am too scared to take a step. When I truly believe that Jesus loves me and wants me to love Him back, I will follow where He leads with joyful obedience.
I hope to grow in His likeness this year. I hope to grow up this year. I hope I realize that if God "worked everything out like I want", He wouldn't be a very great God. I hope to have no fear, no worry. I hope to have perspective. I hope to be more grateful. I hope to never forget who has led me through a wilderness. I hope to be one year closer to spending an eternity with Him in a Land that He will show me.