Give us this Bread always.

What a week it's been already. What a month- what a year, really. So many blessings in the past few days and so much to be thankful for. So many struggles in the past year, some new and some that have clung to me for years. My twenty first birthday was two days ago. Weird. I remember being excited about turning eleven because I was too old to show my age with my fingers. How sweet to dwell on who it is that has been with me for all those years. He has known every thought, every deed. He was with me when I didn't care about Him. He watched me blow candles year after year just as swiftly as I blew opportunities for His love and forgiveness. 

Oh, to grace how great a debtor.  

I guess I should tell you why I named this blog Bread and Water. I've been reading through John the past week or so and I have been struck by how Jesus describes Himself. Bread, Living Water, Truth, the Light. What do all those things have in common with Jesus? They are absolute necessities. If you don't have Jesus, you don't have Bread or Water. Without Jesus, you have nothing. Anything that you desire that is outside of Christ is death. I hope to spend my time here in a constant pursuit of Life.

In John 6:34, when Jesus compares Himself to life giving bread, the people say "Sir, give us this bread always." But they aren't really asking for Jesus. They're asking for a free lunch. Jesus had just miraculously fed a large crowd and now they're hooked. They're thinking they could get used to following this guy around who hands out free food. But Jesus, though free, is expensive. He demands all of you and He's going to put you through some tests to weed out who the true followers are. But He is rooting for you. Think about that. The all good, all knowing God is pulling for you.

Here's something that I've had to learn the hard way: God doesn't promise us good things on this earth. Not in a family-of-four, white-picket-fence kind of way. But I am here to tell you that the white picket fence doesn't compare to the broken body of Jesus. My plan is hard to let go of. What I want for my life here may not happen but if I trust Him regardless and follow Him in humble obedience, I am promised a Life far greater than what I can imagine.

In a roundabout sort of way, I want this blog to be a reminder to you (and me) that Jesus is absolutely necessary and that whatever it is you think you want besides Him is absolutely not. I would say I can't imagine my life without Him but I can. For a shameful amount of time, though I still went to church and sang and still spent time with other Christians, I saw the love Jesus had for me and flat out chose something else. Because I was still seeking my free lunch.

I hope you pray that Jesus will "give this Bread always" with a heart that is not seeking bread that will mold and be useless in a couple of weeks but with a heart that wants Him and nothing more.